I have a confession

I have a confession... You see...it all started when we looked into Skyler playing soccer again (her choice not mine) and realized that 4 year olds can play too. So, Schuyler and I talked about it for a while since it would mean the beginning of two different practices, two different games, two different team parties, etc. We decided that it was time and Madison was more than ready and able to play a sport. Then we talked to Madison, who of course was ecstatic.....she has grown up watching Skyler play sports and she has been chomping at the bit to go out there and do SOMETHING.

Now for the confession part - while filling out the online forms to sign them up I realized that kids had to be 5 by a certain date and Madison was 30 days shy of that date. Ummmmmm....what's a mom, who has already gotten her child all excited about it to do? So, I told a little white lie....she will be playing soccer this season and they will be starting soccer in April.

Oh dear...I am pretty big and pregnant...am I really ready for these practices and games? We'll see.

Introducing Cameron Alan Miller

While over at my cousin Jesse's house, I was able to get a few pics of Cameron, I wish we had some sun for better lighting but I still think I got a few cute ones. Oh how easy it is to forget how very tiny newborns are.

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6 1/2 Month Belly Photo

So it seems that I am getting bigger. HA - imagine that. Schuyler said last night that he didn't know where I plan on putting the next couple of months since I already look maxed out. I vote for him to carry what's to come of the next couple of months. LOL! Sounds wonderful to me. :o)

Here I was at 3 1/2 months

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Here I was at 5 months

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And here I am at 6 1/2

oooo....talk about big. Man....I think I have to agree with Schuyler...I have no idea where the next couple of months are going to go. :o) I have about 12 more weeks until I am due and about 10 more weeks until I am considered "full term"... but who's counting? {grin}

The girls seem to be more and more aware of the fact that there will be a new baby soon, I think the masive tummy maybe a constant reminder. :o) So, they have been making plans on who gets to help with what and to tell you the truth - I do not plan on trying to talk them out of any of it. :o) What new mom doesn't want a little help? And with two older sisters it seems that I will have it. Last week, Skyler said, "Madison, you can feed the baby and stuff but I will have to change the diapers because I am older and they will be too stinky for you". Ummm....hello.....can I get that in writing? hehe.

But with them being more aware it seems the hard questions are coming again. For instance, Madison still thinks that I ate the baby and that is how it got in my tummy.... in her defense that's how stuff gets in her tummy and it makes sense if you think like a 4-yr old. Then Skyler wants to be in the room when I deliver....ummmm....no. She told me "I am older and I know that the baby comes out of your privates, so its ok this time". ummmmm....still no. Not to mention, that it is very creepy to hear my little girl talk about such a grown up issue and who the heck knows how she found out where babies come out of. I know that many moms deliver with their other children in the room but I just can't do that to mine. Ummmm...No, no, no.

awwww...the sun is finally shining

I know that I am a bit bias but I sure think my hubby looks pretty handsome in this picture. wooohooo....hey babe, how you doin'? :o) I love him!!!

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Look closely at this picture....if you don't know Madison well, you would think that she looks so elated to be driving her daddy's boat....but to the seasoned momma - like myself - you actually see a very mischeivous grin that screams "I'm gonna throw ya'll out of this boat".

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Wow...boating hair is awesome and I am not sure what Madison was doing or not doing in this picture but...hey....at least I am in a picture, right? :o)

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Oh I am so excited to see these squinty eyes again...it means that the sun is here and hopefully to stay for a while.

Hello 3rd Trimester

Well, it appears that I am entering my 3rd trimester and it has welcomed me with bouts of heartburn, backaches, tiredness, swelling, weight gain, grumpiness, and a little bit of waddling. So if the old saying is true that time flies when you are having fun, then I expect time to slow way down for the next couple of months. {grin}

Seriously, life and pregnancy are going pretty smooth and I shouldn't complain. I am excited that this baby...(have a hard time saying the name)...is healthy, thriving and growing on track. You see....it is normal for us pregnant woman to worry about the health of our babies on a daily basis and I also understand that it is totally normal to have fears. The hard part - the part I am struggling with is, when these thoughts bring me to my knees.

As a woman who has experienced a miscarriage, I know 1st hand just how hard it is not only on the mother but the father as well. I watched my husband have so many questions but not want to ask. I watched him try to console me while grieving himself. It was a sad sad time for us but I can't help but thank god that I was only 8 or so weeks along. Why would I thank god for allowing that to happen to us at all, you may ask. Well, for the simple fact that I have witnessed and heard so many stories of woman who have lost their babies much later in pregnancy and even at birth. VERY VERY SAD!

I am really struggling right now with the fact that I have a pretty close friend who a long while back lost two babies late in the pregnancies. Oh, I can't imagine the sadness that she must have gone through. But, my big struggle comes with when speaking to her about my current pregnancy, there is the constant reminder of what she went through, either by her talking about it or me just thinking about it. I have sympathy for this person and truly feel sorrow for what she has gone through. However, I just don't need or want that constant reminder anymore. It causes me more worry than I care to have. It causes me to have bad dreams. It causes me to shed tears in fear of the unknown. It causes me to not want to talk about the baby much. It causes me to not want to be excited or anticipate anything. I also believe it maybe why I find it hard to say the name that we have given her. To be quite honest.....It takes my joy away.

So, as I sit here typing this and feeling her kick and punch around in my tummy, I take this vow.....I vow, to love, enjoy, be excited, anticipate, and not be afraid to talk about this sweet little baby. And most of all I vow to say her name, as she does in fact have a name....HAYDEN!!! Some where in my worries and fears I lost the ability to say her name but truth be told......no matter how this whole pregnancy plays out - she will always have a name.

Now that I am in the midst of the 3rd trimester blues and may complain on occasion, (ok maybe a little more {grin}) I will cherish every minute of it. So, as you read this please know that Hayden is dearly loved and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Please join me and say her name out loud. Hayden.

Thank you!!! Much love to you all.

Bestest Bestie in the World

So it seems that I have the "bestest" best friend in the world. Crystal and I have been friends for a little over 10 years and I have to admit...she is the bestest bestie!!! The thing is that most best friends go shopping together, go to the movies together, have birthday dinners together but we don't do any of that. Sound weird? Well, to the average bear it does. We rarely see each other but talk every day and some days multiple times a day.

Yes it would be nice to maybe spend more time together but we both work and both enjoy our time off with our families. Then there is also the spouse issues...our men. They are so totally different that trying to get them together or to hang out is like pulling teeth. :o)

You see, there are needy friends who need and want you to spend time with them, then there are the so-so friends who come and go, then there are the friends who just need a listening ear and do not really care about you, and there there are the rare friends like Crystal. Lifer's!!!

Together we have been through partying, clubbing, dating, marriage, child birth (yes we have video taped each others births and she will be video taping this next one too), one divorce, another marriage, working together at two companies, dream-home building and many more of life's big events. Going through all of this together has been a real blessing and since I am not the most affectionate person, I have never been able to tell her this, so I have taken to my blog to tell her. :o)

Crystal,
Even though we may have one of the most unorthodox friendships, you are the best friend that I could ask for. I am so lucky to have a friend who is always a phone call, text or FB instant-message away. I am not sure how two girls who met many years ago, one thinking the other was annoyingly peppy and the other thinking she was a bi!ch - became such good friends. But, I am glad we did! :o) In some ways we are polar opposites and in some we are the exact same - so like some crazy puzzle piece we fit together perfectly. Thank you for being such a good friend to me, I luv ya babe. {muah}

Super Silly, Wonderfully Wacky, Goofy Girls

I just love how these girls know how to get down right Silly, Wacky, and Goofy. :o) I JUST LOVE EM'!!!

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After all of the goofing around the girls sat down to read some books. So sweet don't ya think?

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