Tuesday, October 27, 2009

And I thought I was out of the woods...

With Skyler, starting almost as soon as I found out that I was pregnant I was so sleepy, had bad headaches, and felt nauseous all the time but never actually got sick to my stomach. Then with Madison, the gloves came off. That child tortured me from 4 weeks until about 3 1/2 months. Ugggg....I had the tiredness, the headaches and OMG the sickness. I threw up all day every day, even though my doctor had me on every kind of anti-nausea medicine known to man. It was so bad that within that time frame I was hospitalized twice for dehydration. HORRIBLE!

With this one just when I was thinking that I am out of the woods it hits me. OK...I must admit it is not as bad as the girls...YET....but I am tired often, a few headaches, and starting to get nauseated. But knock-on-wood it is not too bad. I have however become friends with my pillow and food, when my newly picky taste buds allow, to help keep everything under control. For now it is working....so I hope it keeps up.

The next post should be Halloween. The girls and I are very excited and can wait for Saturday to get here. I think it is one of the firsts things they talk about each morning these days.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Dust Settling

Now that the dust has settled, life seems to be moving forward. There were a few days where life seemed to stand still and it was like I was looking in on someones else's life. Now that I have fully accepted that I am pregnant again and there will be another baby in this house, life is good and I am back in my own skin. :o)

The girls have been great about this and the love and support that we have been getting from friends and family has been WONDERFUL. Thank you all so very much.

Schuyler's grandmother Maida who was ill has passed away. It was and is a very sad...I think it made it a little more sad for Schuyler since this was his dad's mother. His dad died in a motorcycle accident a year or so before we met. So I was never able to meet him, nor was he able to meet his grandchildren. So when Maida got ill and the talks of her not making it through this, the flood gates opened for Schuyler.

It brought back thoughts of his dad, his dad death and life since. I know that god has a time, place and plan for everything but some times his plans don't mix with ours. Both of our father's passed away before we met each other, so it is a little heart breaking when we think about what our fathers have missed and what we have missed. So please keep Schuyler and his family in your prayers as I am sure they need them at this time.

Last year I decided that Halloween start the "Happy Days" It is not part of the Holidays but October is a fun month for the kids so we started saying that this is the start to the Happy Days. The girls are really looking forward to Halloween and I am sure they will have a blast.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Are you sitting down???

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Go ahead and gasp.....it's ok....Schuyler and I have done our fair share of gasping the past week or so
. This is VERY much a surprise to us as it is to you. You see, I was told many years ago that I would never be able to get pregnant without some help and I had to have help conceiving Skyler and Madison. But... SURPRISE....god has his own plans.

How it all went down...
Since Madison was born Schuyler and I have talked about having another child but neither one of us have been 100% ready. Then last week Schuyler was gone one evening and I was home alone with the girls. So I did what most woman do when home without their husband....I watched all the "chick shows" that I wanted!!! {grin} So right before bed I watched a show on TLC about woman who where pregnant and didn't know it. Then I went to bed and dreamt that I was one of those woman all night. That silly show and dream stuck in my head for 2 days causing me to think...."Since I am never regular, if I was pregnant, I would never know". So on a paranoid whim a few days later I bought a pregnancy test and over the next few days....I took 5...yes 5... positive pregnancy test. I guess it just took that many to sink in that it was true. Its seems that since we could not make our minds up, god made the decision for us. This goes to show you who's hands everything really is in.

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As it stands today...
I went to the doctor today for confirmation and ultrasound to see how far along I am, since I had no idea. According to the ultra sound and the doctor I am 6 weeks along and we saw the heart beat and all. I know it is a bit early to be sharing but I just HAVE to share. :o) I just keep asking myself...."how long would I have gone had I not watched that crazy show?" Schuyler and I have gone from full on freak out and disbelief to extremely excited and we are happy to share this exciting news with everyone.
Both of the girls are excited about the news and are hoping for a baby brother. I think it is because they don't want another girl to have to share the girly toys and dress up clothes with. :o) But, the questions sure started.

Madison: How did the baby get in your tummy? Did you eat it?
Me: (giggle) No...God put it there.
Madison: How did god put it there?
Me: ummmmm...
Madison: Was it magic?
Me: Yes, god works magic all the time.
(Whew that was a tough one. I've gotta get more prepared for these questions.)

Skyler: Will I have to change messy diapers?
Me: No, not unless you want to.
Skyler: Good, I want to feed it a bottle but you can change the messy diapers.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Halloween Costumes

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Ode to life in limbo

This is my Ode to my life currently being in limbo since I need to let off a little steam before I explode.

Why is my life in limbo, you ask. I can't say at the moment.
Why can't I say, you ask. That is top secret FBI, CIA information. :o)
Is everything ok, you ask. I am sure it will be but life turns on a dime at any given moment.

That is all that can be said about this life that is currently in limbo and now that everything is as clear as mud, keep me in your thoughts. :o)

Friday, October 2, 2009

"It's my blog and I'll blog the truth if I want to"

This week has been full of ups downs and I along with many other bloggers are guilty of only blogging the good stuff in life. Well, we all know that life is not a bowl full of happiness all the time and I have to share a bit of real life. "Its my blog and I'll blog the truth if I want to"

With my heart and head mostly into getting my photography business up and going full steam and my pocket-book out of steam, I find myself struggling emotionally. Part of me, ok.... I must admit... most of me, wants to jump in with both feet, yet there is the other part telling me to stop dreaming and get my head out of the clouds. I can't remember a time (professionally) when I wanted something more than this but with owning your own business comes many unknowns. I could fail miserable or I could soar, never needing to look back. At one point in my my life I thought of owning a daycare but that was so far out of reach that I never fully considered it. Now photography seems to be so close that I can smell it yet I can't fully get from here to there. Its like a carrot dangling in front of me and when the wind blows just right, I get a brief nibble of it, then it is gone again. I know that everything is in gods hands but I feel it is up to us to fight for certain things. Then.... how do I know that by it not being easy that isn't gods way of trying to lead me away from it??? Ohhh.... the struggles that be daily life! :o)

I am also struggling with Skyler's teacher who isn't as nice as one would hope a 2nd grade teacher would be. She IS very much pregnant and miserable but she seems to be taking it out on the kids and it makes me sad. I have never been the kind of mom to complains about teachers and such because I want my kids to know that like is full of people who are not nice but you can't just switch whenever it gets rough. I feel this will only help them when they are adults because there will be bosses they like and some they don't. They have to understand that this is life and you can't jump ship when your not 100% happy...you have to forge through figuring out what you can and can't do. You know the old saying...."the grass isn't greener on the other side"??? This can apply to so many things such as teachers, bosses, relationships, teams, etc. I hope my girls find ways in life to say "___________ is not perfect, but is perfect for me". I know there is a fine line between living life this way and settling....I don't want them to settle for less but I do want them to be happy and understand that nothing and no one is perfect. I feel that if you are always looking for perfection by moving from one to another, you will NEVER find true happiness because, again, nothing and no one is perfect.

There are many people close to me either jobless and trying to stay afloat, have loved ones who are very sick, or are struggling in midst of relationship nightmares. I am so grateful to have none of these issues at this time in life but feel guilty and saddened for those who do. So if this applies to you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lastly, my wants, needs and desires out way my funds. It doesn't help that the economy has taken a hit and both of mine and Schuyler's employers have been forced to freeze wages and other benefits for the time being. I sure have been missing that annual raise the last 2 years. Although, it seems that no matter how much money a person has there is still money issues on occasion. I do wish I could find the good ole' money tree that my mom spoke about not having when I was a teenager. HA! LOL

Now that I have finally made myself laugh, I think I can end this post. To those of you who cared enough to take the time to read this rather lengthy post, thank you for listening and take care!

Shelley