Friday, October 2, 2009

"It's my blog and I'll blog the truth if I want to"

This week has been full of ups downs and I along with many other bloggers are guilty of only blogging the good stuff in life. Well, we all know that life is not a bowl full of happiness all the time and I have to share a bit of real life. "Its my blog and I'll blog the truth if I want to"

With my heart and head mostly into getting my photography business up and going full steam and my pocket-book out of steam, I find myself struggling emotionally. Part of me, ok.... I must admit... most of me, wants to jump in with both feet, yet there is the other part telling me to stop dreaming and get my head out of the clouds. I can't remember a time (professionally) when I wanted something more than this but with owning your own business comes many unknowns. I could fail miserable or I could soar, never needing to look back. At one point in my my life I thought of owning a daycare but that was so far out of reach that I never fully considered it. Now photography seems to be so close that I can smell it yet I can't fully get from here to there. Its like a carrot dangling in front of me and when the wind blows just right, I get a brief nibble of it, then it is gone again. I know that everything is in gods hands but I feel it is up to us to fight for certain things. Then.... how do I know that by it not being easy that isn't gods way of trying to lead me away from it??? Ohhh.... the struggles that be daily life! :o)

I am also struggling with Skyler's teacher who isn't as nice as one would hope a 2nd grade teacher would be. She IS very much pregnant and miserable but she seems to be taking it out on the kids and it makes me sad. I have never been the kind of mom to complains about teachers and such because I want my kids to know that like is full of people who are not nice but you can't just switch whenever it gets rough. I feel this will only help them when they are adults because there will be bosses they like and some they don't. They have to understand that this is life and you can't jump ship when your not 100% have to forge through figuring out what you can and can't do. You know the old saying...."the grass isn't greener on the other side"??? This can apply to so many things such as teachers, bosses, relationships, teams, etc. I hope my girls find ways in life to say "___________ is not perfect, but is perfect for me". I know there is a fine line between living life this way and settling....I don't want them to settle for less but I do want them to be happy and understand that nothing and no one is perfect. I feel that if you are always looking for perfection by moving from one to another, you will NEVER find true happiness because, again, nothing and no one is perfect.

There are many people close to me either jobless and trying to stay afloat, have loved ones who are very sick, or are struggling in midst of relationship nightmares. I am so grateful to have none of these issues at this time in life but feel guilty and saddened for those who do. So if this applies to you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lastly, my wants, needs and desires out way my funds. It doesn't help that the economy has taken a hit and both of mine and Schuyler's employers have been forced to freeze wages and other benefits for the time being. I sure have been missing that annual raise the last 2 years. Although, it seems that no matter how much money a person has there is still money issues on occasion. I do wish I could find the good ole' money tree that my mom spoke about not having when I was a teenager. HA! LOL

Now that I have finally made myself laugh, I think I can end this post. To those of you who cared enough to take the time to read this rather lengthy post, thank you for listening and take care!



TNT said...
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TNT said...

Thanks for the "truth". My blog is raw, true, worldly and Christian. If that's possible. I use it to communicate with a Brother in Christ that doesn't have email. Praise God that Jesus came to save sinners! Our God will supply all of our need according to His riches in Christ Jesus!